The Hollywood Dictionary

This is a test blog so I'll just share one of my favorite industry "jokes." I use quotes since it's arguably factual and barely a joke... Which is why we can't help but laugh.

VERBS: to schmooze = befriend scum to pitch = grovel shamelessly to brainstorm = feign preparedness to research = procrastinate indefinitely to network = spread disinformation to collaborate = argue incessantly to freelance = collect unemployment NOUNS: agent = frustrated lawyer lawyer = frustrated producer producer = frustrated writer writer = frustrated director director = frustrated actor actor = frustrated human COMPOUND WORDS: high-concept = low brow production value = gore entry-level = pays nothing highly qualified = knows the producer network approved = had made them money FINANCIAL TERMS: net = something that apparently doesn’t exist gross = Michael Eisner’s salary back-end = you, if you think you’ll ever see it residuals = braces for the kids deferral = don’t hold your breath points = see “net” or “back-end” COMMON PHRASES: You can trust me = You must be new It needs some polishing = Change everything It shows promise = It stinks rotten It needs some fine tuning = Change everything I’d like some input = I want total control It needs some honing = Change everything Call me back next week = Stay out of my life It needs some tightening = Change everything Try and punch it up = I have no idea what I want It needs some streamlining = Change everything You’ll never work in this town again = I have no power whatsoever. Written by Josh Miller, for the Television and Film Institute for Screenwriters, Canada.

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